Signs your Wife Might be Cheating
Nancy Patterson - October 14, 2019
Let’s face it: no one likes being cheated on. Infidelity and unfaithfulness, as common as they may be in today’s world, can lead to heartbreak and devastation. Maybe you have watched your best friend get cheated on, or watched your parents split up, and experienced that heartbreak first hand. Maybe you’re the one who has done some cheating yourself. But if you are suspicious of your spouse, you may already be noticing the signs of infidelity without realizing it.
Now, every relationship is different, so something listed here as a “sign of cheating” may not be true for your situation at all. Your spouse could be meeting all of these qualifications and still not be cheating — there are a lot of different reasons why people act the way they do. Assuming someone’s motivations and accusing them of cheating on you might actually make things worse if your relationship is on the rocks — or, it might unveil some truth. Either way, proceed with caution! In the meantime, here are a few signs that your significant other might be cheating on you.
Does your significant other all of a sudden care about their fashion choices and hygienic routine? Hopefully for you, they are just maturing in their tastes and taking better care of themselves. However, they may also be trying to improve their appearance for someone else — someone who probably is not you.
Tidied-Up Social Media Appearance
If you’re browsing social media and you realize your partner’s social media relationship status is changed or hidden, it might not mean anything. Or, it might mean they are trying to alter how they appear online. If they are changing captions or deleting pictures, they might be tidying up their social media appearance to make them appear single and not in any kind of relationship. If this is true, that’s not fair to you, or to the person they are trying to attract.
Locked Phones and Clean Browsers
If your significant other has suddenly changed all of their passwords, that is pretty suspicious. Now, maybe you have kids who keep getting into your phones and amazon priming themselves the latest and greatest toys, so the change of passwords is good. But, if they are unwilling to share those passwords with you, then they might have something to hide. (If you’re reading this article around your birthday or Christmas, then disregard this point. They might be planning a surprise.) Otherwise, if they are hiding their phone or deleting browsing history regularly off all their devices, they might be hiding something.
Lack of Connection Emotionally
Do you feel like the two of you are not connecting emotionally anymore? If you have stopped confiding in each other or discussing even the most basic feelings and emotions that occur throughout the day, the distance might indicate that someone or something has come between you. Like many of these points, this alone isn’t a sure sign that they are cheating — we all go through relational dry seasons. In fact, your significant other might just be going through a difficult time personally, and is having a hard time telling anyone anything, much less processing on their own — we all have hard times. So, if you aren’t talking anymore, don’t just assume they are cheating! Instead, seek out your partner and how you can serve them emotionally.
You feel ignored
This hits the same nail on the head as the last point. If you are having a hard time getting any sort of attention from your significant other, you might be in a sticky situation. Again, it could be just a freak incident and the sign of a lot of other things going on — or, it could be something else completely. If you’re having a hard time having any sort of communication, spending any time together, or making any sort of connection with your significant other, you might be due for a chat.
Beware Blackout Periods
If there are consistently several periods where you straight up cannot reach your spouse or partner, that is a pretty huge red flag, especially if it happens fairly regularly.
New Hobbies that don’t include you
If your significant other has recently taken up a new hobby that you can’t join in on, that might be a sign that it is a cover for something else. If your partner is going on multiple hour runs to the middle of nowhere or in the dark cover of night, that might be a sign that they are meeting with someone or trying to keep things secret from you. If you think they really might be running, ask to celebrate milestones and distance victories, and ask them to show you their course. But if they are vague and don’t want to share details, there might be something else going on.
Separate Credit Cards
If you are used to having a joint account, and you suddenly find a separate credit card, that is a pretty big sign that there is something going on that you shouldn’t know about. Now, it might be a company credit card for work, so you might not need to storm the castle after all –! But if it is a personal card, you might be due for an update.
You are Having Less Sex
Physical intimacy is a huge point of connections for couples, so if you two aren’t in bed as much as you used to be, this should be a huge flag for you. Distance grows the more you are apart — physically and otherwise. Keeping the flame alive and being there for each other is a huge part of a committed relationship. Whether or not your partner is cheating, if you are having a hard time in the bedroom, it might be time for a talk.
Date Night Replaced by Girls Night
If the two of you used to have a dedicated date night routine that has suddenly been replaced by girls night, that might be a sign that she’s really, really into painting pottery. Or, it might mean that she’s not being totally honest with her whereabouts, and she might not actually be with the girls at all.
Staying Late at work
If your partner is suddenly staying late at work consistently, then that might be a sign that there is something going on. Whether with someone at work and they are staying late at the office, or they are just using the office as a cover excuse, this might be an indicator that something might be wrong. If she is vague about why she’s staying late or what she’s doing, that might be a sign of unfaithfulness.
More Possessive of you and your whereabouts
Believe it or not, even if she is being unfaithful, she might become more specific about wanting to know all there is to know about you and your whereabouts. She might even accuse you of being unfaithful to her, and drag out details that are totally explainable by other reasons. But if she is particularly possessive, or even questioning, of what you are up to, that might be an indicator of her own discomfort with her own actions, which leads her to questioning yours.
More — or less — details of the day-to-day
This can go two ways. Either she is giving you less and less details to avoid questions and suspicions on your part to hide some of her comings and goings. Or, on the other hand, you get a very detailed play by play to provide some sort of alibi. Again, this alone isn’t enough to make a solid call on what’s going on between you two. But if you notice a huge pendulum swing one way or the other, this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
Avoiding specific places
Again, this is a small thing that could be telling, or, maybe not so much. Who can say? Maybe she doesn’t like sushi for real and just doesn’t want to expand her horizons. Or, maybe she doesn’t want the servers and waitstaff to recognize her with a different man. If your usually laid-back girl has suddenly developed some very strong opinions about where she will or won’t go with you, that might be a sign that some things aren’t the way they should be.
You’re spending more time apart
If you are finding reasons to stay away from each other, or planning separate trips, or she’s insisting on taking trips alone, that might be an indicator that things aren’t the way they should be. It could be as simple as going to the grocery store solo, or it could be something like just filling your schedules with other things so you don’t have to interact. Either way, this can be telling.
You two don’t flirt anymore
If you used to send lunchtime texts or snaps or just generally talked throughout the day, and you don’t anymore, this might be a sign that her mind is elsewhere. If you all don’t flirt with each other or get it on, that might be a sign that something is missing. As wonderful as it is, romance takes a lot of work, and if you both aren’t working hard to cultivate the spark and keep it aflame, it can die quickly, leaving you both just sad.
She’s getting mysterious calls
It is one thing to get a lot of random calls to your phone and let them go to voicemail — we all get spam calls now and then. But if your significant other is getting calls from mysterious numbers, and she’s taking them outside and talking for a while, that might be a sign that she’s talking with someone she knows, about something that she doesn’t want you to know about it.
Her friends are uncomfortable with you
If she has close friends, they will probably know everything that’s going on a lot further in advance than you will. So, if her friends are avoiding you, are hard to talk to, or just generally seem pretty uncomfortable around you, then something might be going on. Again, it totally depends on the friends (and let’s be honest: it depends on you, too!) but if things seem weird and sketchy when they didn’t used to be, that might be a sign that something is going wrong.
She says she’s unhappy
Studies show that most women will express a level of unhappiness up to four times before committing any unsavory behavior or acts against their partners. That’s a big deal! She may be leaving you hints that she isn’t happy long before she cheats — hopefully, she wants to work things out, but isn’t sure how to bring it about. Maybe there are deeper issues in the relationship and the cheating is just what’s on the surface. Whatever it is, if you notice these signals, engage them! Talk to her and try to have an honest conversation.
Hostility towards your relationship
If she is suddenly hostile towards you and towards your relationship, she might be looking for opportunities to lay blame on you. Not for all of it, of course, but if she can find a reason to pin some blame and shame on you, it might make it easier for her to justify her actions, especially if she never intended them to go the way they did.
It’s important to remember that these things could be true of your partner, all of them! And yet, they could still not be cheating. Or, they could meet none of these criteria and still be having an affair behind your back. But if your gut tells you that they might be cheating, it doesn’t hurt to do a check on your significant other and see what you can determine at CheckPeople.com. It’s better to be safe than sorry — no one likes to be blindsided. At the very least, we hope it prompts a good conversation and leads to a healthier relationship, whether together or apart.