10 Signs You’re Dating a Sociopath

Michelle Wilson - January 3, 2024

Most people will likely connect the word “sociopath” with a negative connotation that holds exploitative and self-absorbed actions. It’s probably never someone you’d willingly date. Unfortunately, a sociopath can also hold extremely charismatic and persuasive traits that appear attractive in many situations, particularly early on in relationships. When your partner doesn’t follow the rules, appears arrogant, lies, doesn’t care, manipulates situations, and struggles to hold a job, these are all warning signs you’re dating a sociopath. Having a few of these traits individually isn’t an automatic diagnosis, as only medical professionals can do that, but it can highlight warning signs for those in the relationship.

Rules Don’t Apply to Them

A rule-breaker can seem appealing at first, but it can pose significant problems down the road. This is particularly true when the sociopath’s actions involve criminal behavior. Breaking the rules can also put you in harm’s way. These individuals don’t care about giving or taking in any relationship, society included.

They Don’t Have Many Friends

A sociopath will always have difficulty forming and maintaining relationships, including friends, family, or relationships. An individual with antisocial personality disorder creates extreme isolation, which regularly pushes people out. If you’re in a relationship with someone who lacks relationships with other people, look closely at why that might be.

Nothing is Wrong with Them

When most people make a mistake that hurts others, there’s remorse and an ability to recognize any behaviors that need to change or shift in the relationship. A sociopath can’t identify this pattern, as they don’t admit any wrongdoing. The dynamic will always be challenging and toxic, as the standards and consequences are entirely irrelevant to the sociopath. When someone doesn’t care about the consequences, the actions will never change, and they’ll continue violating boundaries and rules.

They Seldom Think About Consequences

Sociopaths are self-fulfilling, which means putting personal enjoyment above all other things. The individuals are highly impulsive, acting in risky behavior. It seems these people will act first and consider the consequences later. Unfortunately, these actions can negatively impact friends and family as well. Decision-making in a relationship may be hurtful or financially taxing, as a sociopath won’t actively consider others before making a choice.  

They Frequently Con Others

As a sociopath is exploitative by nature, they regularly push the limits of others. These individuals often persuade and convince others to act outside of the norm. If a sociopath wants to take a pricey trip and can’t afford it, they’ll manipulate the situation until someone offers to pay. When planning a date, expect to visit their preferred restaurants every time.

They’re Regularly in a Bad Mood

Although everyone has the occasional mood swings, a sociopath is known for irritability and agitation. These traits can quickly escalate into verbal or mental abuse as they attempt to feel better about themselves. Partners are regularly a punching bag for the sociopath, as the bad mood seems to appear out of nowhere. You’ll often feel nervous and anxious about upsetting them, setting them off, or feeling like you’re walking on eggshells when having a conversation.

Holding a Job is Exceptionally Difficult

Many sociopaths will struggle to stay employed, especially when interpersonal relationships get in the way of a paycheck. The sociopath will always have an excuse or reason for being let go or fired from a job, with none of the outcomes being their fault. Sociopaths struggle with rules, self-regulation, and accepting authority, making it a difficult standard for gainful employment. Partners, family members, and friends may all suffer when the sociopath is unemployed, as they’ll expect you to pick up the slack or help them out financially.

They’re Always Lying

While lying isn’t a great trait overall, a sociopath will often use this tactic to get their way. These individuals will use lying to manipulate or distort a situation at any cost to the other party. A sociopath will try to bend the truth to change the story, whether a small white lie or a catastrophic lie that is visible to anyone but them. When a relationship is built on a foundation of trust, this trait constantly undermines the core of the dynamic.

They’re Arrogant

Confidence is an important life skill, but hearing how much better an individual is than anyone else is exhausting. A sociopath will always believe they are better than everyone else in virtually every aspect. These traits are toxic, invalidating, or generally uncomfortable in a relationship. You’ll never have it better or worse than a sociopath has it.

They Never Seem to Care

Although everyone has their off day, a sociopath will have consistent difficulty caring for anyone. A healthy relationship will hold mutual consideration and empathy for the partner. Being in a dynamic relationship with a sociopath will have a one-sided approach to interactions. When the central feature of care and consideration is absent, relationship longevity is exhausting for the other partner.

What is a Sociopath?

While these traits may seem exclusive to antisocial personality disorders, an individual may have several of these traits without being a sociopath. Knowing the difference between a selfish partner and a sociopath isn’t always straightforward, but these signs can help identify potential red flags to consider.

A sociopath is an individual with antisocial personality disorder. This condition stunts the emotional capabilities of the person, with indifference to the needs of others, exploitative tendencies, strong entitlement, and a lack of remorse for the harmful actions they perform. A sociopath will only focus on the wants and needs of a partner when and if it’s convenient for them.

Can a Sociopath Love Others?

Love is a complex and deep emotional attachment to others, including bonding and connection. By the general definition of love, a sociopath can’t love another individual in the empathetic and selfless way healthy relationships require. These individuals may show many loving acts, but it’s often a manipulative tactic to further themselves in one way or another. To a sociopath, true love is only within themselves, their power, and winning their version of life.

Can a Sociopath Change?

Currently, there isn’t an absolute cure for mental or behavioral issues. People diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder are seldom motivated to change their behavior as they can’t recognize the need to change. Many sociopaths are highly resistant to the concept of treatment or change and may only attend psychotherapy treatments when forced to do so (through a court order, for example).

Conclusion

Every relationship will have ups and downs throughout the years, but focusing strongly on connection, communication, and empathy can keep the interactions balanced and healthy. If your partner struggles to show compassion, regularly twists or manipulates the truth, and holds themselves above all other things, it suggests a serious problem. While these traits are commonly connected with antisocial personality disorder, they’re problematic traits regardless of a mental health condition. Evaluate your relationship honestly and candidly if you find these ten traits within your partner to determine the health of your relationship overall.