Your Pre-Relationship Checklist
Nancy Patterson - May 11, 2019
Dating can be stressful and draining. Just when you think you’ve found your perfect match, you find out they aren’t who you thought they were, or they find someone else. It’s easy to get discouraged when you keep putting yourself out there only to be continually disappointed.
That’s why we created this pre-relationship checklist. Before you dive into your next relationship, find out how many of these traits your prospective partner possesses. We recommend this research be done early on in the scouting process—either before, or right after a first date—saving you from wasting time on someone who isn’t right for you.
Table of Contents
It may seem shallow, but being attracted to your significant other is important. There’s a reason why 40 percent of Americans use online dating.1 What’s the first thing you notice about someone online? You see their picture, and immediately determine whether to swipe left, or to start actually reading their profile.
While apps including Bumble only allow a person to upload a handful of photos of themselves, social media networks such as Facebook often allow hundreds of photo uploads. If you really want to make sure your prospective date is as attractive as they made themselves look in their dating profile, be sure to look them up on social media. You may find the embarrassing photos their friends tag them in, or the more recent, less-flattering photos they hoped you wouldn’t see until after agreeing to meet them.
It would be nearly impossible to sustain a relationship with someone whose moral compass points in the opposite direction from yours. If you can’t see yourself dating someone who has robbed a bank, then it’s a good idea to make sure they never would.
Since you’ll probably spend more time talking about hobbies than discussing your definitions of right and wrong behavior, it may be hard to pick up on someone’s morality by communicating online. You’ll have to check their criminal history yourself, and you may be surprised by how much you can learn about someone you just met.
If they’ve ever been caught doing something illegal, it should show up in a public records search. It is your right to have access to arrest records, sexual offenses, felony and misdemeanor charges, and even speeding tickets. Court documents can also show whether your possible new bae has been involved in any sketchy lawsuits.
Money is consistently ranked as one of the top reasons why couples fight. If you work hard for your money — probably wise not to start a relationship with someone who doesn’t have their own income and just wants to spend yours. Or perhaps it’s important to you to find someone with a significant amount of disposable income (we’re not here to judge).
Luckily, you can’t hide bankruptcy filings or tax liens. Many aspects of a person’s finances are considered public, and with some deductive reasoning, you can get a good idea of how financially stable they are.
A thorough background check can also reveal current and previous addresses. You can easily find out what kind of neighborhoods they tend to live in, and discover what range of property values they’re associated with.
One of the toughest parts of starting a new relationship is establishing trust. Whether you meet someone online or through a friend, you’re still starting from the beginning. A prospective date could decide to become someone completely different from who they really are in order to gain your trust and affection.
If you think your new crush might be too good to be true, there is a way to prove it. Between county, state, municipal, and federal courthouse records, you can learn a lot about a person. You may discover that they are married, or have been charged with a violent crime. A deep web search could reveal secret social media accounts, or birth records that indicate they are much older than they claimed.
Nobody can fault you for not wanting to enter into a relationship with someone who has kids with multiple ex-spouses, or serious insecurities resulting in extreme jealousy. Some baggage might be manageable, but you can avoid getting too far into a relationship with someone who has too much.
Marriage and divorce records are available to anyone, and divorce records might include details about children, or the primary reasons for a split. Any custody battles, restraining orders, or domestic violence charges can also be found online. If you don’t feel comfortable talking to them about their rocky past, or you sense that they aren’t telling you everything, it’s worth investigating yourself.
Two people with similar educational backgrounds are likely going to have more in common than those who don’t. A person with a master’s degree may not understand why their prospective date didn’t bother going to college. Valuing education, as well as being able to afford continued education can say a lot about a couple’s compatibility.
It’s easy to brag on Tinder about having a Harvard degree, but a simple online search may tell another story. Perhaps they went to a different university or no university at all.
There’s a good chance that all of those pictures of your relationship prospect hiking and rock climbing are what initially attracted you to them. Having hobbies that you both share and can do together is imperative for healthy relationships. But what if those pictures are from the only time they ever did either of those activities?
An instant deep web search can pull up hidden social media accounts and dating profiles that uncover a completely different person. They may be casting a wide dating net, and listing different interests and hobbies on each platform. If you’re just looking for someone to ski with, it’s worth finding out they have no idea how to ski before you shell out for their lift ticket.
How to Conduct Your Own Pre-Relationship Check
The great news is that you can find all of this information with one, simple online people search. The team at CheckPeople has developed a proprietary algorithm that searches through more than 6 million public records in seconds. All you have to do is enter any prospective date’s first and last name into our online people search tool, and we’ll create a full report. You’ll immediately gain access to a comprehensive background check report that will help you decide whether to keep seeing your potential significant other.
Relationships are tricky enough without lies and deception. Take dishonesty and immorality out of the equation right from the beginning. Start your pre-relationship check today.