How Big Is Your Family Exactly? You Might Be Surprised!

Michelle Wilson - May 16, 2019

We’ve all pondered where we came. What do we really know and what may have been lost to time? How big is your family really? Where did you come from? Maybe you’ve heard names for years spoken about and want to learn more.

There are many reasons why stories can be misplaced or forgotten. Perhaps somewhere along the way there was an adoption, or family squabbles or a number of situations. Whatever the case may be, you are separated from your relatives. Finding those lost loved ones can be quite hard.

We have taken the time to outline how to reconnect, and what to do once you have made those connections.

Start Your Search With The Information You DO have!

Most of us will start out without real data to use. Most of us will only have vague memories or suscpicions about your missing family members. It will be difficult without ANY information at all to do a search. So instead try starting out with what you do know. Connections and family members you DO have information for. This will get you started.

For example: Are you trying to search for a missing brother or sister? First try looking up one of the parents. See what kind of clues you can uncover through different identity lookups. Or maybe if it is a cousin, look for your known aunt or uncle. This is a good method of getting certain viable data such as name, age maybe even where they live. This will all help in further searches.

Your Family Drama, Holds Great Details!

We all have family drama. Dispite what fronts we put up, we know the gossip in our family and for some of us it can be a bit crazier than others (hahah). There is quite possibly some drama around the family member who is missing, as well as details on their disappearance. You should make an effort to get the specifics.

For example: Was he/she estranged because they went down the wrong path in life? You can do a criminal records search to try to confirm the crazy family buzz. Of course the buzz could just be a lot of talk and lead no where. However in the chance it is spot on, it will again, help to narrow your search results.

Be mindful that your family may be rightfully seeks space from this family member. You shouldn’t procede before you know it is safe to do so. You don’t want to cause further family ripples by leading someone back into the fray that is unwelcome.

Is It A Good Idea To Make This Connection?

It’s easy to get lost in the “can I do this” and not really think about the “should I do this”. (Remember the lessons of the first Jurrasic Park movie…). You will start to narrow your results and as you are getting closer to the subject of your search, you should really ask yourself if this is the best.

For Example: Was your family member forced to leave and cut ties because of prejudice? If so he/she may ultimately not welcome your advances. Maybe the person was adopted out of your family and not really have an interest in making biological connections.

Timing is Everything!

You may feel that there is never a bad time to reconnect. Afterall maybe your goal is out of love and positivity. Well guess what sunshine? Not everyone sees the world through those fancy rose colored lenses. Holidays for example are known to brew strong emotional drama within families. You certainly do not want to make anyone feel guilted or obligated to get back in touch as a result. It’s not going to make anyone happier and ultimately can further the divides. Make sure to choose a nice neutral calendar zone where everyone involved can make a sound decision about what they want to do.

Put Yourself In Their Position…

Could you imagine going through life… maybe you went out for some groceries, ya know… just living your normal every day life. All of a sudden you are getting calls or texts from some stranger tells you some story you know nothing about, about how they are your family and want to get in touch.

You may encounter roadblocks. Always assume you will be met as a stranger and start from there. Let them know you are aware this may be the case and certainly don’t want to make them uncomfortable. Help them feel positive about the experience and ultimately help you towards reconnecting. Safety is everything. If someone doesn’t feel safe you will get nowhere.

Rejection Is Possible. Be Prepared.

Listen there are two sides to every story. It may not always be that this lost family member was abandoned. Perhaps that family member left on their own volition. Could be for reasons like abuse, personality clashes, their value systems etc.

These are not easy subjects for anyone. Even if you have nothing to do with the situation, they may not want anything to do with anyone connected in any way. So be prepared to get a “no”.

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Browse the CheckPeople blog for more ideas about how to use people search engines more effectively in your long-last family investigations, as well as other searches.