Cheating Military Spouse: What You Need to Know

Richard Grey - August 11, 2025

Marriage is one of the biggest commitments you can make in life. You’re agreeing to share your life with someone, and that’s not something you should take lightly. While marriage is a serious matter for anyone, military marriages can be even more complicated. With long-term deployments, stress from the job, and relocations, military marriages can take a toll on someone’s relationship.

Unfortunately, sometimes this may lead to a cheating military spouse. While cheating is a serious problem and adultery has consequences in traditional marriages, cheating on your spouse in the military is a crime – a serious one at that.

This article takes you through everything you need to know about cheating military spouses. Read on to learn more.

Understanding a Cheating Military Spouse 

A cheating military spouse is not handled in the same way that a normal cheating spouse is handled. This is because when someone joins the military, they’re agreeing to hold themselves to a higher standard and code of honor. While this includes following state and federal laws, it also requires service members to follow the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ).

This code was created to establish laws for every branch of the United States military, and while it was passed back in 1951, it’s still in effect today. For this reason, a cheating military spouse is taken seriously in every single branch of the armed forces.

What Is the Punishment for a Cheating Military Spouse?

When a spouse is caught cheating in the military, there are a handful of potential consequences they may have to face. Some examples of minor punishments include a loss of rank, a loss of some pay, and even administrative separation. In most situations, this is what happens if a military spouse is caught cheating.

However, if the cheating is more serious and causes problems for the United States military, there may be other consequences. In fact, it’s possible for a soldier to receive a dishonorable discharge or up to one year in confinement.

Aside from problems in the military, cheating military spouses may also face problems outside of the military. This is because adultery can impact spousal support, child support, and much more.

Signs of a Cheating Military Spouse 

When a military spouse is cheating, don’t worry, there will be signs. This means that you can catch red flags as long as you know what they are. Thankfully, we help you spot some of the most common signs of a cheating military spouse below.

Emotional Distance 

If you used to speak with your spouse as much as possible and feel them starting to slip away, they may be cheating on you. You may notice that calls or other messages are becoming less frequent, and that when they do come, they’re not as intimate.

While this isn’t a guarantee that your spouse is cheating, it’s a cause for concern. Every relationship is personal, so if you notice that anything feels off, it’s a good time to listen to your gut and check in with them.

Financial Problems 

If your spouse is no longer sending home money or doesn’t seem to have any money left, they may be cheating on you. What’s more, they may be asking you for money or not be able to explain some charges on joint accounts. If your spouse also opens new accounts or stops using some payment methods that you’ve shared, it may be a sign that they’re doing something shady.

Lack of Sexual Intimacy 

If your military spouse isn’t being as intimate with you sexually, it’s a sign that they might be getting it somewhere else. You may notice that they don’t initiate as often or that your spouse doesn’t feel in the mood when you try to initiate with them.

While this can be a sign of something else, it’s worth talking about it with them. If they can’t seem to explain it or don’t make any effort to fix it, you may want to press the issue further or ask them if they’re cheating on you.

Changes in Their Appearance 

Are you noticing that your partner is suddenly more focused on their appearance? Or have they stopped wearing things that you’ve given them as gifts? Unfortunately, these are signs that your military spouse may be cheating on you. They may be hiding jewelry, like rings, or changing up their style to attract someone else.

This is one of the more subtle signs, so keep an eye on it, especially if you notice that they aren’t wearing their wedding ring (if you’re married).

How to Find a Cheating Military Spouse 

Are you wondering if your military spouse is cheating on you? Whether you want to discover a cheating husband or you just want reassurance, plenty of tools are available to help you reveal a cheating military spouse. Learn more about how you can find a cheating military spouse below.

1. CheckPeople.com 

If you want to reveal a cheating spouse, one of the best tools you can leverage is one of our people search tools. Our people search tools make it easy to spot a cheater because we reveal all of their public records and online activity. This can include things like secret financial records or even more serious indications of cheating, like online dating profiles.

What makes our tool one of the best places to start is how quickly and accurately it can be used. For example, you can enter your spouse’s name, state, and street address to begin your search. From there, we comb through millions of public databases to compile a full report that covers everything you need to know about your spouse.

Unlike other resources, our databases are always kept up-to-date. This way, you never have to worry about running into outdated information. It’s also more accurate than other sources, so you never have to make confrontations without having the full confidence to do so. Last but not least, we’ll notify you if anything ends up changing, so you’ll always be in the loop.

2. Talk to Your Spouse 

Another way to discover if your spouse is cheating is to talk to them. It might be hard during deployments or when your spouse isn’t around, but you should still make the effort. Once they’re home, you can ask them to be honest about their behavior. In some cases, they may tell you the truth or give you reassurance that they’re not cheating. 

On the other hand, they may try to lie their way out of it. If this happens, you can try looking through their phone or asking for it. If they don’t give it to you, there’s a good chance that they’re hiding something.

While talking to your spouse is effective, we have some other tips that can help you find a cheating spouse without having to go through an awkward conversation.

3. Hire a Private Investigator (PI) 

Private investigators are always a good option when you need to find a cheating military spouse. This is because private investigators may have access to tools you can’t use or locations you can’t visit. Plus, the right PI may be able to get close to places where your spouse is stationed to get evidence of their cheating; this is helpful if you plan on getting a divorce or breaking up with your spouse with proof of their cheating.

That said, private investigators aren’t cheap. While they’re one of the most effective tools you can use to find a cheating military spouse, you’ll have to pay a premium to do so. This is because you’ll have to pay at least $50 an hour or more, depending on the PI and how many hours you want them to work. Whether or not this is worth the cost is something you’ll have to decide.

While working with a PI is effective, you can always start with one of our people search tools first. They’re more affordable, accurate, and can help you find dating apps and other red flags.

Our Final Thoughts on Cheating Military Spouses 

There’s nothing worse than a cheating military spouse. While you’re at home holding it down until they come home, your spouse may be off getting involved with someone else. Even if you’re not married, this is terrible for your mental health, and it may not be a relationship you want to pursue anymore. For these reasons, it’s important to know how to spot the signs of a cheating military spouse.

However, signs that someone is cheating are not enough to take action. If you’re concerned about a cheating military husband or wife, you may want to find proof using the methods we covered in this article before you make any accusations or pursue a divorce.