The Importance of Dating Your Spouse
Linda Collins - June 30, 2020
It’s a day that lives in our memories forever. But the wedding was just the first commitment in a series that you will be making over the course of your successful marriage.
But as time marches on eventually that honeymoon phase starts to fade a bit and the butterflies have all disappeared and now instead of being excited most of the time, you are bored and interest is starting to fade.
This is something that happens to most/all relationships. The honeymoon phase typically lasts anywhere from 6 months to a year, based on what experts have to say. But I have a feeling that number is much different these days as a lot of us chose to move in together long before we are married and that changes the paradigm a bit.
That said however boredom can sometimes be a part of marriage. Nothing can be perfect all the time. But we can do a lot of things to mitigate that boredom and help put a spark back in the relationship.
Table of Contents
Signs That Things Are a Bit Shaky
When we first are courting our spouses we do everything to make ourselves presentable. If you don’t feel the need to do this anymore, maybe you have become too complacent. They are worth your best. Give it to them.
Maybe you don’t mean to neglect your spouse, but have just gotten too comfortable with the routines you have and didn’t really notice you weren’t noticing. Take a step back and examine your interactions. Are you really connecting?
In the beginning going out and doing new things was exciting and often the choice on dates. However, things lately have been a little less exciting and a little more McDonalds. People need excitement. We need adventure. We need new experiences. Keep that in mind. Maybe you don’t really need another Big Mac.
Dating Your Spouse 101
Designate A Date Night
I know it can feel a bit regimented when we start scheduling romance. But it’s really about how you look at it. You are both saying to each other that “you are important enough to make time for”. Take this time to be apart from everything else. Put down cell phones and listen to each other. If you were on a date, would you be so interested in your phone? Doubt it.
Dating was never ONLY about the things you did was it? Remember all those sweet things you’d do for each other when they weren’t with you? Maybe you wrote them cute love notes or texts, or got them personalized gifts, maybe some flowers or their favorite fragrance. Thoughtfulness is sexy as hell. Appreciation is love (that doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of money, or any money at all. Be creative).
you’ve been married a while. You know what your partner loves to do and what their interests are. However, if you’ve been a bit absent lately you could always visit their social media profiles to check out what their interests are (or use a tool like check peoples people search to get links to all their social media accounts. That said, show an interest in what they are interested in. Share interest sparks joy.
Keeping things fresh is important in anything. We’ve always heard the expression that variety is the spice of life right? Well just because you have a life partner doesn’t mean variety goes out the window. Life has a lot to offer and you are both wasting it by not experiencing it together. After all, that was the goal right?
You both had a lot of plans for the future when you got married. None of it involved sitting around, bored, getting old. So get out there and reclaim those date nights. Rekindle your love life and see if those butterflies come back around!