How to Reconnect with Your Spouse: Easy Tips
Michelle Wilson - May 7, 2022
Taking the time to connect with your partner is essential for happiness and satisfaction in a marriage. Unfortunately, the pandemic has made this difficult to maintain the focus required for our partner. Life is frustrating and stressful. It’s easy to become overwhelmed, especially with the pressure of maintaining a relationship. Things become easy to ignore when it comes to relationships, significantly the upkeep.
If you’re feeling like some things have slipped or looking for ways to reconnect with a spouse, there are a few effortless ways to do precisely that. Staying interested, maintaining creativity, pushing through new or exciting ways to learn things about one another – it’s critical for relationship satisfaction. These activities have been proven to help couples get back on the same page, requiring as little as five or ten minutes.
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Asking Decent Questions
While it’s easy to go about our daily routines, it’s occasionally challenging to continue learning about our spouse. We often pretend to know everything about our partners, including thoughts and feelings, which is likely, not true. To avoid this, ask questions that you might not normally consider. Consider asking your partner, “What advice would you give yourself 20 years ago?” or “What was the most difficult thing you’ve ever had to share with me?” They might seem weird at first, but they’re examples of probing questions that can help couples explore their relationships differently. As a result, you’ll learn more about each other as a couple and individuals.
Choose to Learn Something New Together
Decide to learn something new and explore uncharted territories together. High-stress events can push people against each other through fighting and bickering. By starting something new together, it’s easier to take the pressure off. To reconnect, choose a fun, innocent hobby together. These activities might include photography skills, learning how to cook a new dish, or simply practicing the guitar. Keep the activities low-budget or free, especially if you’re looking for something outside your comfort zone.
Write Weekly Thank You Notes to Each Other
Most often, we notice our partner’s flaws more than their virtues. This negativity creates resentment, which needs to remain balanced with expressing gratitude. Don’t lose sight of all the beautiful components in your relationship for a few shortfalls. Gratitude can naturally help refocus our energy on everything we currently have, including the connection with our partner. Take a few moments to write and deliver a thank you note that switches the focus to something positive.
Try Synchronizing Work Breaks
If both partners work from home, it’s essential to use that to your advantage. Try arranging shared break times, especially if you don’t have frequent time together. Take a five-minute break every couple of hours and interact with your partner. You could spend the time snuggling on the couch, grabbing a quick snack, or venting about frustration in your day.
Keep a Daily Journal Together
Writing is one of the easiest ways to confront your emotions, helping you figure out why you’re feeling, whether that’s a good day or bad. Reflecting on your day can work well for a couple too. Whether you’re planning on writing individually or you’d like to start a journal as a couple. Make sure you explore both emotions jointly as a couple, writing together or simultaneously. There are plenty of options for prompts a couple can use, starting with laughter and building to emotional health. Ask yourself how you can bring more joy to the relationship or some of the funniest moments you’ve shared.
Always Make Time for Silliness
Laughing can produce the same chemical bond as intimacy, making it essential for connection and growth. Make sure you find a silly game or activity that makes you laugh. Find an option that works on encouraging teamwork and improving problem-solving. It can also include activities that blow off steam (consider coloring, puzzles, or a silly playlist).
Get “Away” Together
A couple that enjoys doing things together is a couple that bonds over activities together. Whether you’re looking at drinking a new wine together or simply escaping for a week to another country, find the time to experience things that interest both of you. It doesn’t have to be complicated, learning to make pasta from Italian chefs or visiting a Mexican street taco vendor to learn their secrets. Regardless of what you do, the idea is to spend time together.
Outwardly Compliment Each Other
Although you’ll always want to make your spouse feel attractive and desirable, acknowledging physical attraction is imperative. As we get older, feeling self-conscious about our looks can change our minds. It’s always helpful to know your spouse finds you physically attractive. Make sure you leverage the language of physical attraction, including touch. Something as simple as holding hands or snuggling can re-establish this connection, even if it’s only for a few moments.
Try to Prioritize Video Calls
We always appreciate others checking in on us throughout the day, which can bring a smile to our faces when we’re not expecting it. Consider calling or Facetiming someone randomly can help connect us with our friends and loved ones we haven’t seen for a while. Random calls can brighten everyone’s day, bringing love and laughter to the front of your day.
Check-In at the End of the Day
Before you tuck in at the end of the day, include a few moments of genuine recognition and accomplishments. Spend some time together, cuddling and reconnecting. Learn how to show gratitude for the things you’ve gone through, even if it wasn’t ideal. Try to find small pieces of celebration to eliminate the day’s negatives. Ask your partner about the best and worst parts of their day and try to enjoy a few moments of peace before falling asleep.
Give Yourself Space Apart
Although this isn’t always possible with daily responsibilities, emergencies, or situations requiring prompt attention, it’s okay to find time when you don’t actively acknowledge your children. Make sure you spend time together where you’re entirely focused on your spouse and spending time exclusively together. Maybe you’d like to spend five minutes gazing into each other’s eyes, or you want to enjoy a cocktail together on the patio. You’ll always be parents, but you need to remember that the relationship you have is supposed to exist outside of the children.
Reconnecting with your spouse doesn’t have to be a long, tiring, or in-depth process. Sometimes, it’s essential to reach out and make an active effort between you and your partner. Look forward to simple events and try to carve a few moments a week, building that dynamic between you. Activities can be as complex as planning new vacations together or as simple as taking a 10-minute break at home on the couch. It’s not the activity; it’s the effort you put forward that will keep you two connected both now and in the future.